The Other Side of Paradise

This column originally apperaed on Aug. 26, 2007

OK, class. Geography discussion time.

Get out your copy of Franklin’s “Chester & Delaware Metro Street Atlas,” and turn to map number 3182. See that little corner of Upper Uwchlan labeled Lyndell? That’s our topic for today.

The folks who decided to dam Marsh Creek and inundate the village of Milford Mills back in the early 1970s knew there would be unintended consequences to their actions, but they likely figured those would be on the order of unplanned-for growth in the population of bass fisherpeople in Chester County.

What they did not foresee was the creation of a separate colony of residents who are citizens of, but somewhat alienated from, the larger Upper Uwchlan community. Call them, as one wise man did with me in a recent conversation, “The Folks on the Other Side of the Lake.”

This is not to say that homeowners on Davenport Drive and Reeds Road and Colts Meadow Run and Fox Hollow Road live on the proverbial wrong side of the tracks. In a township where the median income for a household is $96,711 and only 2 percent of residents are below the poverty line, you’d be hard- pressed to hard to find any sort of housing distinction in Upper Uwchlan that would qualify as your average shantytown.

But the Folks on the Other Side of the Lake are disadvantaged in that the rest of the township — the vibrant, functioning, car dealership-laden part of the township — is cut off from them by the 530 acres of Marsh Creek Lake. To get from Lyndell to Eagle is a nearly impossible task, requiring a switchback series of back-road turns reminiscent of the outdoor maze that Jack Nicholson got trapped in at the end of “The Shining.”

I normally don’t have sympathy for the woes of the people who populate DevelomentLand. It’s hard to break spiritual bread with people whose low point in life comes when their Blackberry loses reception in the jacuzzi.

But I do feel for the Folks on the Other Side of the Lake. They want so much to be part of the swank wine, cheese and horse dung life of Chester Springs, and yet they find themselves tied geographically to the rubble of “historic” Guthriesville.

While their neighbors in the village of Uwchland (Motto: “No, We Are Not Going To Explain The Extra ‘D.’”) are deciding whether to shop at the Lexus dealership or stick with the SUVs at CarSense, folks in Lyndell have to worry that some renegade paper mill owner might drop roofing tacks on their driveway. It has to be hard to realize that it is easier to get a burger at the McDonalds in Downingtown than it is to have dinner at the Eagle Tavern.

I believe, however, that there may be a solution to the “East of Eden” dilemma that the Folks on the Other Side of the Lake face. Passage of SB 90210, the “Chester County Open Space Creation Act of 2007 (As Amended),” would require the Army Corps of Engineers to fill in Marsh Creek Lake. When accomplished, Lyndell residents would be able to scoot over to Eagle in no time.

Plus, there’d be the natural side benefit of the drop in the bass fisherpeople population.

A Modest Proposal

This appeared on Sunday, April 1, 2007

Although I am certain he means well, the new legislation that state Sen. Andy Dinniman, D-19th, of West Whiteland, introduced at a sparsely attended session of the Legislature last week seems to me to be, well, shall we say, a trifle odd.

His legislation, SB 90210, is termed the ”Chester County Open Space Creation Act of 2007.“ When you get past most of the legislative gobbledygook that these documents always include (”Whereas …“ ”Be it therefore resolved …“ ”The General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania hereby enacts ...“ ”The term ’Dinniman‘ shall refer to the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful Legislator from Exton …“) what it comes down to is that Sen. Andy is tired of seeing open space in Chester County simply preserved; he now wants to actually make more of it.

Which I admit is a pretty nifty idea on its face. But somehow draining Marsh Creek State Park Lake and filling it in with prime topsoil from Carbon County appears to pose some engineering obstacles that might prove nettlesome, to say the least.

To his credit, Dinniman is optimistic about his plan.

"What a worthy goal this extensively researched legislation aspires to," the county‘s lone Democratic senator said in prepared comments. "For far too long, the waters of Marsh Creek Lake have taken up too much room, when that acreage could instead be a fertile plain among the landscape of Uwchlan Township, giving homeowners a place to walk their dogs, provided they are leashed.

"We all know that we can‘t just sit idly by while developers rape and pillage our hills and valleys and meadows and compost farms," Dinniman continued. "We‘ve got to be pro-active about this. What better way to start creating new open space than by also creating a massive civil service project that would bring new jobs to the underemployed in northern Chester County. Like, those so-called ’soccer‘ moms I see sipping Starbucks at Exton Square in the middle of the day. Don‘t they have a game to go to?"

Regarding the environmental impact of draining a 535-acre lake, Dinniman stated: "Impact, schmimpact. We‘ll grow grass there, and in my book green is good. Except for that moldy stuff that forms on my dog‘s teeth when we don‘t give him the right snacks."

At this point, it appears the biggest fallout over Dinniman‘s bill has been the introduction by state Rep. Carole Rubley of another piece of legislation, seemingly put together to keep her potential rival from getting the lead in the fast-developing Open Space Race.

Rubley, R-157th, of Tredyffrin, said her bill, HB 4-01-2007, the ”Even Better Chester County Open Space Creation Act“ would tackle two problems at once — making more open space and reducing rush-hour traffic.

"I know it would be expensive to tear down the entire Great Valley Corporate Center and return it to the farmland it once was," Rubley said. "But come on! How many cars would that take off 202 at the worst time of day, and how many more ears of corn could it put in the stalls at the West Chester Growers‘ Market? You do the math."

Me, I‘m reserving judgment on the entire thing.

P.S. Check the date on this posting.