Trump Trumped

This column originally apered on Sunday, Dec. 9, 2007

Did you see the news item the other day about the Scottish landowner who is standing up to billionaire egomaniac Donald Trump and his plans to build a $2 billion golf course and condo development project on the Aberdeen Coast?

Did you hear how Michael Forbes, a multi-tasking fisherman and farmer, has refused to sell his 23 acres of “wind-scoured coastline” even though Atlantic City’s favorite comb-over casino mogul had offered him more than three-quarters of a million dollars for it?

Did you tell the story around the dinner table of how the local Scottish business community was up in arms about Forbes refusal to sell, seeing the golf complex as a boon to the local economy?

Did it remind you of anything?

No, I am not referring to that paltry little dust-up in Coatesville over the Iron Eagle Golf Course and one man’s refusal to give up his family farm so that duffers would have a place to shoot a round within spitting distance of a beleaguered steel mill.

I’m talking about the epic confrontation involving Knox Oil and Gas Inc., the residents of Ferness, Scotland and crusty old beachcomber Ben Knox, who owned the beach at Ferness and refused to sell out so that Felix Happer could build a multi-million dollar oil refinery there.

If you didn’t read about that situation in the papers or see it on CNN, don’t feel loop challenged. The confrontation took place only in the sublimely comic imagination of Scottish writer and director Bill Forsyth.

In 1983, Forsyth released the film, “Local Hero,” a story about a Texas oil company executive named “Mac” McIntyre who gets orders to travel to Scotland to wrap up the Ferness land purchase for the oil refinery, an assignment that fell to him largely because of his Scottish heritage. Except that Mac is the descendant of Hungarians and really doesn’t like to travel (“I’m more of a Telex man,” he says.)

The film has everything you’d want in a comedy, if by everything you mean an injured rabbit with two names; a small town populace looking to make a killing and pick up a few Maseratis on the way; a mysterious and beautiful marine researcher who may or may not be a mermaid; a Russian fishing boat captain with a serious investment portfolio; a crazed motorcyclist; the aurora borealis; and a red telephone booth.

The film does in fact have a character that refuses to sell his beach property because he loves living there. Old Ben Knox turns down Mac’s offer to buy him a beach anywhere else in the world, and tricks the exec when he offers to set a price equal to the amount of sand he holds in his hand. It’s wonderful to hear the dialogue between characters as they discuss the modern world versus the traditional world, as in the exchange where Mac wonders how one negotiates business deals with a man who has no door and is told: “The ethics are the same.”

I don’t think The Donald is going to end up with a plan like oil company owner Felix Happer (deliciously played by Burt Lancaster), who eventually decides to scrap the refinery plan and build an institute dedicated to the sea and the sky at Ferness.

But it is wonderful to see life imitating art in some small way, and to know that there are people off the movie screen who regard a stretch of beach as being worth something more than money.

Chester B. DeMille

This column originally appeared on Aug. 12, 2007

Maybe you saw the news that a New Mexico production company is proposing building a multi-million dollar film and television studio in the Philadelphia area. Maybe you didn’t. But then again, maybe you saw the major motion picture “Chubb-Chubbs Save Xmas,” and maybe you didn’t. I will tell you that from what I can gather, both productions rate about one star on my grading scale — out of a possible 100.

It’s not that I don’t love the idea of saving Xmas, or the whole Mid-Winter Holiday Season Concept for those of you atheists and pagans celebrating at home. Nor do I object to the idea of locating a film and television production facility in the Philadelphia area, for that matter.

No, when I read the story, the sentence that struck me as something for the cutting room floor was this one: “Pacifica” — that’s the name of the production company from New Mexico — “is looking at sites in Bucks, Delaware and Philadelphia counties.”

“Cut!” as they used to say in those Hollywood movies about Hollywood movies.

Never mind the fact that we’re dealing here with a company named Pacifica that’s located in a state that does not currently border the Pacific Ocean, or any ocean that I’m aware of. But here they are practically slapping us folks in Chester County who are of the firm belief that our hometown would make the perfect place for a studio, slapping us like Moe would slap Curly.

The announcement comes about a month after state lawmakers approved $75 million in film tax credits for the fiscal year that started July 1. Gov. Ed Rendell said at a news conference with the film production company’s chief, who is trying to put together a $10 million incentive package to get the studio project off the ground, that the idea was a natural for the Philly area.

Rendell said the Philadelphia region should be attractive to filmmakers for its variety of shooting locations, from rural farms to the gritty neighborhoods of the inner city. “This area has unlimited capacity for different scenes,” said Rendell, the former Philadelphia mayor and current Eagles acolyte. “You can't get urban grime in Albuquerque.”

Hey, yo, Ed! If you hadn’t looked, we got it all. You want rural, we’ve got rolling hillsides that roll into other rolling hillsides. You want grime, take a walk around Phoenixville sometime and see what ends up on the soles of your shoes. You want drama like the Western standoff in “High Noon”? Check out the battle between Borough Council in West Chester and their historic preservation comrades. You want comedy like the confused townsfolk in “Blazing Saddles”? Do the words, “Hear ye, hear ye! The Council of the City of Coatesville is now in session!” strike your funny bone?

According to the Associated Press, the Delaware Valley studio would need to grow to about 1 million square feet, comprising sound stages, production offices and other space. One million square feet is about the average size of a foyer in a Mcmansion in Upper Uwchlan. We’ve got square feet just sitting around waiting to be used — a lot of it in strip shopping centers that have nearby Quiznos, so catering wouldn’t be a problem.

And did I mention that Bam’s all set for his close-up?