The land of Big Eats

This appeared on February 26, 2006

Crossing the border into Lancaster County is something we all should do once every while, for a change of perspective if nothing else.
After all, swimming in the sea of Chester County without dipping your toes in other ponds is akin to eating filet from the finest restaurant every day.
Sometimes, you need a little roast chicken. Or meat loaf. Or chicken pot pie. Or prime rib. Or hot bacon dressing. Or mashed potatoes. Or shoofly pie.
You go to Lancaster County because it is truly The Land of the Big Eats. Everyone there, it seems, wants you to eat, and eat big. You can't drive for more than 100 yards down Route 340 without seeing a sign saying just ahead is the biggest amount of food ever assembled for retail purchase, all yours.
And you don't have to feel the least bit guilty about exercising your nonreligious, constitutional right to gluttony. They call it "Family Style" or "Home Style" dining, although most homes in America wouldn't have the space needed on the kitchen table to serve this much food.
It's a way of leading you back to a time when calories were not counted and extra portions were just a matter of course. In SuburbanSprawlLand, the sight of a 240-pound man tucking in his bib for another round of pork chops with macaroni and cheese might be cause for alarm, or at the very least an emergency meeting of the Fox Run Farm Homeowners Association to discuss the possibility of a weight restriction on new ownership.
But not in Paradise. We're speaking of Paradise, Lancaster County, mind you, just around the corner from Smoketown and within easy driving distance of Bird In Hand, two places just made to remind you of eating big.
Paradise is where you can catch up with a big breakfast from Waffle House, where time hasn't changed much in terms of portions served since it opened in 1955. Paradise it may be, but to Big Hungry People, paradise is instead found a few miles away in East Earl.
There, on the top of a hill like a heavenly shrine, is the Shady Maple Farm Market and Smorgasbord. Shady Maple Smorgasbord is built for comfort, as they say, not for speed.
It is enormous. It is bigger than an average high school, and handles about the same number of buses everyday - all full of folks wanting to eat.
Inside is a testament to gastronomical opulence, with lines of brilliantly shiny steam tables and heat lamps, advertising the allure of over 100 different menu items. You can eat all you want there for a price, the nonmonetary version being a sense of satiation that will have you lolling in an overstuffed chair in the lobby until someone pulls you to your feet and tells you they've just brought out a new dessert cart.
On a recent trip back from Lancaster I passed through Honey Brook, where once I stopped at a roadside stand and bought ingredients for a wonderfully cholesterol-filled lunch of tomato-and-mayo sandwiches and butter-laden corn on the cob.
The stand isn't there anymore, but a new shopping center is, complete with its own restaurant.
It serves sushi, I think.