Arcana Mania

This column originally appeared on Sunday, Dec. 14, 2008

I know what you are thinking.

You are thinking that because I moved to West Chester 26 years ago to the month and have departed only occasionally to get a taste of Skyline Chili in Cincinnati, Ohio, I must know pretty much everything there is to know about West Chester.

You’re thinking that when it comes to West Chester, I’m the guru, the master, the Mr. Know It All. That because I can pick up the telephone and dial the number to the office of West Chester Borough Manager Ernie McNeely without even looking at the buttons on the phone, that I’ve got all the bases covered, West Chester-wise.

You’re thinking that since I’m one of the few people in the world of West Chester arcana who not only knows that Thomas U. Walter designed the Historic Chester County Courthouse on North High Street in West Chester, but also knows what the “U” in Thomas U. Walter stands for, and that it is Glen Osbourne, the East Coast Wrestling Association Hall of Fame member, Class of 1996, who was born in West Chester and not Glen Osborne, the New Zealand rugby player, I must be about the smartest person in the galaxy when it comes to West Cestrian knowledge.

You are thinking that, and you are thinking wrong.

There is a significant gap in my knowledge of West Chester that was made apparent just this past week, and I am not too big a man to admit it. Driving past the West Chester Golf and Country Club (est. 1898, 9-holes, par 35, 5,700 yards, slope rating 126, 111 W. Ashbridge St., 610-696-0150) on Thursday I noticed a large stone slab on the east side of North High Street that I must have driven past hundreds of times but paid no attention to.

But what the deuce is it? I asked myself. It stands front and center of a semi-circular stone wall and is about the size of an extra large steamer trunk. It has levels and mantles that suggest that there was some purpose to it that is no longer active. Made of granite or some other deep grey substance, I first thought it must have been an altar of some kind that was used when the folks who settled West Chester (orig. Turks Head, after Turks Head Inn, est. 1747, stagecoach stop, house specialty mutton, prop. Jack McFadden) conducted ritual human sacrifice.

Kidding. That’s Coatesville.

It made me think of the small stone fountain (erected 1869, one spigot for people, one for horses, a little trough at the bottom Andy Dinniman’s dog) in front of the county courthouse, but what would Senator Dinniman be doing walking his dog across from the golf club? His game is squash, after all. Was it a stone bench for the High Street ‘Dinky’ Trolley (est. Nov. 10, 1891, terminates West Chester Normal School, see John’s, Jimmy: Hot Dogs for replicate)? Was it akin to the stone obelisks in Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey” whose discovery signals man’s progress? It was clear I had I had more questions than answers.

I could have take this as a sign that I’d hit the wall when it comes to West Chester knowledge, but I’m a hard-headed sort of fellow and am taking this as a challenge. So some time in the coming quarter century when I find out what this stone mystery is about I will get back to you and let you know just what it is.

In the meantime, just for the record, it’s Thomas Ustick Walter.